Well, it hasn’t happened yet, but the point is…it will.
To venture through life unscathed is one of the most defeating expectations there could possibly be. Not only is it ridiculously unrealistic, it just sets you up for disappointment over and over again. The way I tend to prepare for most things in my wacky brain is “worst case scenario thinking.” I admit that is NOT the healthiest way to handle situations, but in this case it will ease my mind and soften the blow.
In preparation of my inevitable future 1-Star Review of my debut book, I took a gander at some 1-star reviews of people that have influenced me, write what I've read, and are people I respect.
Here’s what I learned:
For my first book, the entire process holds a mountain of learning opportunities. In the days after I finally approved the work and edits I found mistakes, had edits I wish I hadn't approved, and I made of list of things I will do differently for book number two. So I already have my list of things readers could pick apart and determine it a 1-star book. That's okay. It has to be okay because that is the whole point of learning through challenges.
What I do know is regardless of how many people I come into contact with through this experience, it has helped me start writing again, helped me step out of my cozy hermit lifestyle, and helped me connect with some pretty amazing people! And if you’re reading this, then by default you are one of my amazing people! Thank you!
If after reading my own 1-star reviews of my work, you want to pick up your own copy of 26 Days to Practice Peace, click HERE. Sign up for my Newsletter for inspiring random fun notes in your Inbox too!
is for Respect
One of the three definitions of respect in the Concise Oxford English Dictionary is “due regard for the feelings or rights of others.” This is the respect I am offering today.
The primary definition (if they are written in a hierarchy) typically focuses on an admiration based a person’s qualities or achievements, but this is not where I place my attention today because I think I might neglect many people and things if I waited for them to impress me with a particular quality or achievement.
In fact I prefer to extend respect to others regardless of whether or not I agree with them, like them, or even know anything about them. The feelings and rights of others…a person’s right to maintain an opinion contradictory to my own…I respect that. I respect a person willing to disagree with me politely. I don’t like confrontation; I enjoy civil discourse; I love a good debate; what I don’t love is another person’s refusal to let me speak my piece. I will, however, respect the fact that they have different feelings, opinions, behaviors, or social protocol than I and then will then remove myself from the unpleasant interaction.
Because I respect you never means I need to continue to interact with you if I am no longer enjoying the interaction. Disagreeing with you doesn’t imply a lack of respect. Any behavior toward you that is mean, hurtful, malicious, or spiteful would demonstrate a lack of respect for your existence, and this is the kind of behavior I avoid because it literally causes me physical pain to witness these types of interactions.
Lately I’ve had many interactions that feel either confrontational to me or that feel as if I have been completely disregarded as being present in the room or conversation. I’m not a big fan of these feelings, but I realize they have something to teach me about how I interact with others. I will work on paying deep attention to others in order to feel less ignored, and I will work on listening intently to others in order to help myself feel heard.
I firmly believe “you get what you give” so I offer up my respect for the day to all the people, places, plants, and animals that I encounter. You deserve it.