![]() is for Kindness There is only one consistent rule in our house—be kind. Now I break this rule way more than I care to admit, but I am quick to apologize, point out my lack of sensitivity, and try to make it better as soon as I can. To be kind for one day is achievable but it is always the day I choose to focus on kindness that all the irritating crap (i.e. people) confronts me in order to test my resolve. I think my focus on kindness in general stems from an awkward adolescence that consisted of a lot of insecure moments, a lot of being teased, a lot of not fitting in (and having it pointed out to me just for the enjoyment of others) as well as some all around just mean people doing their best to make me feel small and insignificant by maybe…say...yanking my sweatpants down in front of the boys P.E. class as they ran by. All of this turned me into the all-around-root-for-the-underdog Queen of Empathy. As a child I watched The Charlie Brown Halloween Special every single year hoping that Charlie Brown would NOT get a rock and wanting to squeeze myself into the TV to be his friend and share my candy. I vowed that I would NEVER pull the football away from him if I ever got a chance to meet him. The reason my teaching career primarily resided within the middle school years was my need to be a “protector” for anyone feeling awkward, intimidated, insecure, or vulnerable—which pretty much describes the entire early adolescent experience. My underlying need of course to make sure no one was ever treated like I had been. I encourage empathy from my daughter as well, but I got lucky, she was already wired this way from the start so I can’t really claim that I “taught” her anything about being kind. I point out situations on TV or in real life where we can talk about how alone or sad or embarrassed someone might feel, and what I would do to make them feel better and she will add her own ideas as well. I also encourage her to notice kids at school that look lost or lonely to say a quick “hi” to if she feels comfortable doing that. Being kind to someone else never implies that we have to be “besties” it implies that I value you enough to extend my best behavior, and hopefully they will return the favor. I’m just hoping that if I remember to be kind, hold my acid tongue, and not feed into anyone’s lack of kindness then my overall area of existence will start to become a better place for me, my daughter, and anyone willing to visit my corner of the world. I’m hoping that my kind corner of the world will touch all of your kind corners and then we can each breathe a giant sigh of relief.
8 Comments
4/12/2014 08:32:11 am
Kindness is underrated by so many. It takes only a small effort to be kind to someone who's having a bad day, who's suffering, who's hurting. I don't always succeed in being kind to everyone, but I keep trying and find the rewards to be so encouraging.
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4/12/2014 10:24:49 am
I agree! Very underrated. Thanks for stopping by. I will be sure to return to your blog for more smiles and lessons.
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4/12/2014 10:41:18 am
There should be more teachers like you, because there are so many lost youngsters who need to know there's someone in their corner, no matter how much others ridiculed them.
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jean baldridge yates
4/12/2014 11:17:15 am
100 percent in agreement here. We were raised in my family to be kind.
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4/13/2014 12:04:49 am
Being kind is often no more difficult than being indifferent to other people, or, heaven forbid, actively horrible towards them. Also, as you say, being kind to someone doesn't have to mean you want to spend the rest of your life with them. It's just reaching out a hand to help when a person needs it.
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4/13/2014 01:53:41 am
Well said Mark. It really is easier and what you said just got my mind spinning because I am certain that quite a few of my kindest moments are actually me just refraining from being a jerk :-) Now I have to look at myself and check that out, but hey it still counts. Thanks for adding this layer for me!
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4/13/2014 06:33:11 pm
What a lovely positive post, Conlee! I've been raised to be kind and to pass it on to my own children. Life does get stressful sometimes, but its never an excuse to become mean and hurtful to others. As you said, we do it to anyone—besties or not—and hopefully it comes back. If not is okay, being kind to others is the same as being kind to ourselves.
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4/13/2014 11:46:37 pm
Thank you so much. I like the way you said it is the same as being kind to ourselves because it's true. Ultimately I feel better and of course I hope others do do. Thanks for stopping by!
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